A Word On Water

Many homes here have a water-cooler - not something I've ever seen outside of an office in the West.

This is mine. It was the cheapest model they had at 苏宁, and even though it's from a well-established reputable chain-store, I still managed to haggle it down a bit, rom 95RMB (£6) to 92RMB (also £6).

It's pretty basic. You plug it in at the back and put the big 18.9 litre bucket of water on the top. Lights at the front tell you whether the water is 加热 ('increase heat') or 保温 ('protect warm'). After a few minutes of leaving it on, the water from the red tap is just under boiling temperature. Perfect for making a cup of tea. As far as I can tell, nothing you do makes a difference to the water from the blue tap. It seems to somehow stay just below room temperature whatever happens.

You can also get fancier models than this. 苏宁 stocks stand-alone beasts that not only heat water but also cool the other side. Some come with little cool boxes that I think are for keeping other drinks, some can hold a stack of cups, and others have intimidating mechanisms running through special buckets at the top which are meant to purify the water further.

You can call up the water company any time from 7am to 8pm and some guy will come round with a fresh bucket and take away your empty one. You can see them pedalling away sometimes, pulling several gallons of H­­­₂O on a little cart. I understand they take a 1RMB (7p) cut of every tub sold. Most flats have at least six floors before they'll have a lift, so these poor guys have to carry the buckets up several flights of stairs for literally pennies. It's a tough life!

This tub here cost me 11RMB (73p). The normal price is 16RMB (£1.07) but the landlord cut some sort of deal with the company so I could get a discount. Such is the way business is done here! When I ordered it, some late middle-aged guy came huffing up the stairs, sweating despite the cold. He hefted the tub onto the floor and leaned against the wall, taking dramatically deep breaths for a while, before asking for his money. I think he might have been fishing for a tip!

There's quite a lot of text crammed on this thing so here goes:

五大连池: This is the company name and also the name of a volcanic spa near Harbin. It literally means 'Five Big Joined Ponds' and the Rough Guide describes it rather uncharitably as 'an unattractive place that draws mostly elderly Chinese to its supposedly medicinal hot springs.'

There are four bits of advertising fluff too. 世界名泉 means 'world-famous springs'; 药泉湖 means 'medicinal spring lake'; 滴滴天然 means 'drip drip natural'; and 天然矿泉水 means 'natural mineral spring water'.

Whereas in English 'mineral water' and 'spring water' are two legally distinct things, it seems there is a bit of linguistic confusion in Chinese. I doubt some of these claims would pass muster in the English legal system but, hey, we're not in England.

The word for 'spring' is 泉 (quan). It's another great example of the cleverness of the Chinese language. It is composed of the radicals 白 (white) and 水 (water). In other words, water gushing from the ground, or 'a spring'.

Underneath this is a bunch of addresses and telephone numbers of what looks to be the main office, and a local branch (for ordering your refills).

Running down the side is a list of 注意事项 ('pay attention to items'). These are:

一） 避免阳光照射
二） 避免接触花粉
三） 避免高温存放
四） 避免长期存放
五） 建议十日饮完
六） 提前一天订水

In English:

1) Do not expose to sunlight
2) Do not (allow to come into) contact with pollen
3) Do not store in high temperatures
4) Do not store for a long time
5) (It is) recommended (that you) drink within 10 days
6) Order water a day before (you want it)

An important part of natural Mandarin is its metre or rhythm. Here, all six instructions are six characters long, and they are paired in an AABBCC structure - i.e. three sets of two-character words each. For example, the first four begin with the two characters 避免 ('refrain from'), the fifth is 建议 ('suggest') and the last is 提前 ('in advance').

There's an enticing almost poetic symmetry to the whole thing, and as you can see from the translation, it's something almost impossible to replicate in English. The closest thing I can think of would be the pithy warnings you sometimes get in shops saying things like 'You Break, You Buy'.

Anyway, enough of this time-wasting. I'm off to make another cup of tea.