Tenant Troubles II

Auntie Xiao, who is anyway madder than a boxful of mad Chinese old ladies rushing to get on the otherwise empty Mad-bus to Madsville, ran into me in the street, rushing to get to class.

"Come by later," she said, one eye fixed on me, the other darting around, happily independent "I've found you a flatmate".

"Oh, really. Well I'd be happy to meet him." I said, before excusing myself. After class, I dropped by.

Auntie Xiao smiled toothily, clearly immensely pleased with herself.

"A thousand bucks!" she exclaimed. "Three months, for a thousand bucks! That's loads isn't it?"

I reminded her, that this sum was, anyway, exactly one-third of the rent.

I grilled her on the flatmate's status. Is he at HIT? How old is he?

"Sure, sure, he's a student. Your age. Real nice guy. You'll like him. It'll be fine."

Auntie Xiao seemed to be under the impression that she could pick my flatmates for me

"Look, I'm not just going to live with anyone. I'm a long way from home and I'm going to pick my flatmates carefully."

She airily waved a hand at me, as if my objections could be swatted away like flies.

"I'd like to meet this guy. Can you give me his number?"

Auntie Xiao gave me a sideways glance and her eyes narrowed.

"No, no, no. That won't do at all. I'll call him and we can all meet up."

I realised that Auntie Xiao was after the agent fee for introducing a tenant. She was worried, rightly so, that if I met up with him myself, we'd cut her out entirely.

She punched in his number from a tatty contacts book, while nonchalantly trying and failing to shield the phone's caller ID screen from my eyes.

I arrange a time, talking to the guy via Auntie Xiao. Thursday, midday, back here.

Happy at having struck a deal, Auntie Xiao picked up a huge apple and waved it at her husband who was playing a computer game.

"Wash this for Doun".

"In a minute".

"Oh no, I'm fine, I have to go anyway."

"WASH IT!" Auntie Xiao screeched, smashing it repeatedly into her husband's fleshy back. The apple was looking decidely the worse for wear.

"Ummm.... Thanks, but I really have to go now. Bye!"

"Oh, and I'll lend you that bed" Auntie Xiao called out, calming down considerably.

"You were meant to do that weeks ago!" I thought to myself as I left, but didn't want to argue the point. Getting her agent fees in return for furniture was definitely not part of the deal. I'll get Ming Yue to fight my corner on flat furniture when (or if) I ever get a flatmate.