Dormitory 13: Unlucky For Some

I've been quite sceptical about university accommodation in China.

Perhaps understandably, the typical six- or eight-bed rooms typical for domestic students aren't an acceptable choice for many foreign students, so most places seem to dedicate a building to foreigners, and offer twin rooms with shared bathroom or cooking facilities.

I can understand the policy of jacking up prices for the foreigner dormitories. Most are willing to pay because they're not aware of the alternatives, because cutting through the paperwork and living off-campus can be a daunting experience, especially for the undergraduate exchange students who could probably do without the hassle, and because of better economic backgrounds.

It's not even a problem unique to HIT. As far as I'm aware, all universities in Shanghai that offered a Chinese programme to foreigners had a similar policy of shared rooms (or at least shared bathrooms) at rates well above the market price.

But understanding isn't the same as agreeing, and there's no need to provide rooms that are cramped, inconvenient (a midnight curfew!), and lack privacy. Looking into Harbin accommodation, I heard one paranoid netizen suggest that the police and universities are in cahoots, deliberately making it difficult for foreigners to register their off-campus registration. Less paperwork for the cops, and more money for university. I doubt it's as sinister as that, but there's definitely an element of deliberate obtuseness, whether it's from laziness or malice.

Mingrui started coming to classes late, and looking tired and distressed. In between naps, he explained why.

Dormitory staff had decided to give him a flatmate - a Malinese doctorate student called 马龙 ("Ma Long" (a transliteration of Malone? Marlon?), and literally "Horse Dragon").

He'd sleep with his door wide open and lights on; cook 'funny-smelling' food; and flood the bathroom floor.

As the days went on, the list of complaints got weirder. Mingrui overheard the dormitory cleaners saying that they'd heard Ma Long mutter to himself about killing people; he'd rant aggressively and unintelligibly at Mingrui; and rumour had it that he'd gone on a naked walkabout in the city.

Teacher Wang Lie checked with the dormitory staff for Mingrui... and it turned out that all the rumours were true! In fact, local government and the Malinese Embassy were in the process of sending Ma Long home, but the paperwork was taking some time.

Alarmingly, the university leadership was so worried that Ma Long would do something crazy living on his own that they moved him in with Mingrui.

Out of curiosity, I sneaked a look through the dormitory register. Sure enough, Ma Long had the unsmiling, deathly stare of a serial killer.

The only member of HIT staff that emerged from this whole sorry state of affairs was Teacher Wang Lie who looked into Ma Long's history for Mingrui; forced the dormitory to find another room for Mingrui to sleep in at night; and pushed the university leadership to expedite Ma Long's return home. Meanwhile, the university pretended they didn't have any rooms free to save some money; moved a certifiably odd young man in to live with a total stranger; and all the while charged sums well-above the local market rate for substandard accommodation - no fridge, no washing machine, no cooking facilities, and utilities most definitely not included!

Northerners have a reputation for being witty speakers - a trait apparently much admired in a country still significantly divided in terms of a standard, unified language. A great example came a few days later, when up came the idiom: 龙马精神 ("Long Ma Jing Shen" or "The vigour of a dragon or a horse"). Quick as a whip, Teacher Wang Lie, flipped the sentence on its head and punned:

"Of course, Mingrui might know a thing or two about 神经马龙 ("Shen Jing Ma Long" or "Crazy Ma Long")." Amazing!