For the high-level classes (D through G) that comprises three disciplines: 演讲 ('speech'), 知识 ('knowledge', a quiz) and 表演 ('performance' but to all intents and purposes singing).
With just three people regularly attending class, Teacher Wang Lie quickly assigned roles.
"Mingrui, you've made some interesting points in the past, you can give a speech; Koreans always do well at the quiz, so good luck Enxi; and that leaves Xu Dun for the singing. Can you sing? ... Ah, it doesn't matter."
As the date of the performance approached, I found myself literally losing sleep worrying about the event. I suggested to Anna, who'd started coming to class more regularly, that we could sing the popular (if corny) 对面的女孩看过来 accompanied by 'Dancing Midgets' - a very much politically incorrect but hilarious bit of physical 'comedy' whereby one person operates the midget's feet using their hands, and a second person stands behind the first and acts as the arms. This video demonstrates the idea well.
"Hmm... yes. We COULD try that..." she said, looking decidedly noncommittal.
"Great! Well I'll get lyrics written up and a routine drafted then!" I enthused.
Shortly after, in a not so subtle hint that she wasn't on board, Anna stopped coming to class.
Secretly relieved, I told Teacher Wang Lie that I wouldn't be participating.
"I really needed a partner, which is a real shame... but I'll come watch!" I said, trying to look earnest but disappointed.
With just three days to go, wise, old Teacher Wang assigned the role of singing partner to Enxi. Great! The Dancing Midgets were back in town!
Enxi flat out refused to go along with the whole Dancing Midgets idea.
"If you really want, I could sing a duet with you though. I'll come round this afternoon and we'll pick a song."
Later that day, we sat eating lychees around my computer listening to songs from BaiDu.
"How about 今天你要嫁给我?" Enxi asked, suggesting the collaboration between skinny Pop Queen Jolin Tsai and the talented singer-songwriter David Tao. Good idea! A duet with simple lyrics, wholesome moral content that would go down well with the judges, and one of the most popular tunes of the previous year to boot. We'd win for sure.
We had a listen. Halfway through...
"Uh! Uh! Jolin in da house!" shouted David 'DT' Tao
"DT in da house!" replied Jolin
"Well I guess that's out. I'm drawing the line at rapping in public!"
"I can't rap either, it'd sound worse than Mingrui!" Enxi agreed, "but what if...!"
Twenty minutes later, Mingrui was in the flat, working on his lines and trying his best to look gangsta. He actually sounded pretty good, and by 'pretty good' I mean 'not that painful'.
What followed was a tough three days of snatched practice sessions before and after class, sleepless nights with the song playing on continuous repeat, and a crash course in choreography. Read Part II to see how we got on!
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