Day Zero: Gangsters, A Guest And Gross Grub

After a series of delays, Simon finally arrived at Harbin's Taiping airport today, nineteen hours later than scheduled.

Eager to make use of every minute, we headed straight for Wu Ji for a selection of fried and/or greasy foods with Mai, Enxi, Heeya and Nanzhe.

The aim of Simon's three days here? To make this a compilation of Harbin's Greatest Hits, so naturally the first drinking destination was one of the outdoor beer tents along Central Street. At all of them, 10RMB (70p) gets you something like this.

On the way, Simon makes the timeless observation: "China is bigger than I thought it was".

To ease the beer down, both sides of the tent are lined with stalls selling everything from Donner kebabs to Malaysian fishballs, from tofu-on-a-stick to fried crispy bits.

Heeya contributed this fried squid, while I picked up a stick of deep-fried chicken heads, and some silkworm larvae.

Up to the challenge, Simon chomped down a stick of larva, leaving me awkwardly tearing the meat off the cheeks of the chicken heads. I cracked all three skulls open, exposing brains shaped like two kidney-beans, but couldn't bring myself to eat them. 1-0 to Simon!

A group of drunken middle-aged men approached me and asked if they could drink with my Russian friends. They looked upset when I informed them that Simon and Mai were English and Danish respectively, but quickly shook off their disappointment and reverted to their natural state of affable menace.

They repeatedly refused to answer any questions about their work, batting away any inquiries with a gruff aura of danger and impending violence. Instead, they insisted on buying us pitcher after pitcher of beer. By the eighth or ninth jug, Simon and I were absolutely convinced that they were gangsters on a night out.

One even insisted on accompanying Simon to the toilet, lest the 'Russian' get himself lost, or worse, shivved by a rival gang member.

Pretty soon, it was last orders. With palms softened with the blood of their enemies, the gangsters shook our hands and bid us goodnight, before staggering out of our lives forever. Simon and I returned to the flat and, so I wouldn't have to put up with his stink, dismantled my bed - Simon taking the mattress on the floor, while I got the wooden-slats-over-two-drawers combination that constituted the base of my bed.